Welcome. God im tired.
After a full days work, a decent session of drinking, a rush to the airport (thanks Charlie), 5 hours of sleepless anxiety on an overnight flight, a lavatory that seems to be constantly full with a conga-line of old people, subway, floor-kip, red wine and still, no sleep. It is in this dread filled, wide eyed,colon holding state i decide to write.
Phew. Finally got that out.
That was worse than holding in my hershey squirts up base camp, but thats a story for another time.
For my first post it seems fitting to start on this journey back to the birth place of everything that is to follow on this (to be) blog of rants, photos, videos and, more than likely, drunken escapades.
A rush of feelings fall over me as i return to see these people, the relics of yesteryears. My mother with excitement in both of our hearts to see each other again; reunification. Anxiety shared with my dear grandparents to whom contact has been sparse but our love remains the same. Appreciation for my farther to him and for him to me for who i left a child and now return an adult. The unspoken respect for a brother who terrorised my youth (and i to him) but now has become a rock, a guide, a mentor whilst making my path abroad. My family of a past life, it feels, for who we have all grown in our own way now reunited after a long, eventful, life-changing 5 years. And my niece, the wondrous ball of excitement that kept me waiting 2 long years to now finally see her smile light up my face and the faces around me in real flesh and blood.
Should i feel so strongly about these feelings, should i even be paying them any attention? Probably not.
And i may be thinking into it to much.
But aren’t these emotions, these whirlwind feelings a reminder that we are human, that we invariably do care about these people no matter the indifferences and timespans; that unconditional love is not just a given but really does exist inside all of us at many depths. It passes no judgement or knows no past nor future, its unconditional, pure, ever permeating.
Sometimes it just takes a little introspective nudge to bring it to the light.
But hey, im border line delusional right now and ive been wrong before. Once. I think?
Tangent: (get used to these) – i really put off writing a ‘blog’ for such a long time due to the indecision of what to write about and how to write it. After a very indepth DnM with a friend of mine whos a doctor; Chris Mackie G.C PhD, ive decided that it really doesnt matter what is written, what photos are put up or videos will possible get banned. Its for me, a chronicle of travels ahead. An unbiased account written for no one by no one. No one to impress via social media, no facade i have to keep up online, no timeframes to get back to anyone about. The beauty of it all is it gives my dear friends and family an insight, at their on will, into the comings and goings of a mad man.